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How To Save Your Child From Ostrich Attacks,

Accidental Time Travel, And Anything Else That Might Happen On An Average Tuesday

(BenBella)

 

Parenting advice - with healthy doses of humor and practicality.

 

Author: James Breakwell

Genre: Parenting / Humor

Reader Appeal: Moms an Dads

 

When my youngest son was three years old, he was outside playing and got lost in a time portal. If I had only had James Breakwell’s book them, I’d have known right away what to do. Instead I had to resort to the internet which was surprisingly unhelpful.

 

How To Save Your Child From Ostrich Attacks Accidental Time Travel, And Anything Else That Might Happen On An Average Tuesday is the longest-titled book I’ve ever held in my hands, but it is also the funniest. You know me by now, so you know I read parts of this book out loud to my husband (he loved it). Often, I could hardly get through a sentence without having to wipe my eyes from crying in laughter.

 

At one point, I even woke up my college-aged son to read him the lesson on time traveling to the American Revolution (in case the time portal reappears in his dorm room). I gave him excellent advice like: Never wear a red coat in battle; don’t go to Valley Forge in the winter; and never underestimate the tenacity of a scrappy underdog. He’ll be able to navigate much better than the last time he traveled through time.

 

As you read Breakwell’s book, you’ll learn about dangerous snakes like the Anaconda. Dangerous because…. well I’ll let you read about that. There’s also a list of the scariest types of clowns—and how to keep your child safe from them. First thing is encouraging your kids to have a healthy level of clown phobia. You can accomplish this by jumping out at children at random times, with a clown mask on. My kids might have me committed to a psych ward if I tried such tactics today … but I do have a few unsuspecting nieces and nephews. I think I’ll practice on them.

 

Meantime, check out How To Save Your Child From Ostrich Attacks Accidental Time Travel, And Anything Else That Might Happen On An Average Tuesday for yourself. It’s easily recommended.

Let's Talk About It

Use these questions to spark discussion among family members who are interested in this book:

 

• What's the best parenting advice you’ve received? Given?

 

• What is the absolute worst gift to give someone else’s child?

 

• What would you really like to do with James Breakwell's book? Why?

 

--JH

 

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